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善用顯淺英語(下 ) - 《IELTS攻略》
07-Feb-2018

善用顯淺英語(

筆者多年前己提倡運用顯淺英語(Plain English),當時一度受到同行的攻擊,皆因不少補習導師建議中學生在DSE的寫作中,加插所謂「正規英語」(formal English)。許多學生盲目地跟從,經常在他們的作文中見到“we are of the opinion that…” ,或 “in accordance with…” 等字句,外國人看到這些繁瑣的句子時,真的不知應該讚還是彈。這些句子究竟是平庸英語的化妝,還是劣質英語的喬裝?

筆者認為,要寫得一手好文章,先要避免使用那些化簡為繁、化清晰為模糊的字句,其次便是用字遣詞要簡潔清楚。請閱讀以下的繁瑣的句式,並將之改為淺白易明的 Plain English 吧。

 

  1. 1. It has come to my attention that Cheng is not acting in accordance with company regulations.
  • - It has come to my attention that 是商業術語,應直接地用 I note that。Plain English 講求直接,以 I 作主語,可打破彼此隔膜,拉近關係 。
  • - In accordance with 意思是根據,可以 according to 取代。

可改為:I note that Mr. Cheng is not acting according to company regulations.

或進一步修改為:Mr. Cheng is in defiance of(違抗)company regulations.

 

  1. 2. At this writing, we find that we are unable to extend your credit limit in view of your financial circumstances.
  • - At this writing 可用 Currently 就更直接。
  • - Find that we are unable to 的意思與 cannot相同。 
  • - In view of(由於)可用 due to取代。

可改為:Currently, we cannot extend your credit limit due to your financial circumstances.

 

  1. 3. We are in receipt of your email and, as per your instructions, we shall forward the requisite reports at an early date.
  • - Be in receipt of 可用動詞 receive 代替。
  • - As per 屬於商業術語,應盡量避免,建議這裏可用 according to 取代。
  • - 除非是法律文件,否則應用 will 來代替 shall。
  • - Requisite 意思是「必須」,改寫為 necessary 更好
  • - at an early date 解作「盡快」,改為 soon 更佳。

可改為:We have received your email and according to your instructions, we will send you the necessary reports soon.

 

  1. 4. I am afraid I am not in a position to grant your request unless you inform me of the reason why you need the confidential appraisal.
  • - I am afraid (我恐怕)屬於商業術語,應盡量避免。
  • - Be not in a position to grant 解作「不能批准」,即是 cannot approve。
  • - Inform me of the reason 可用動詞 explain 代替。

可改為: I cannot approve your request unless you explain why you need the confidential appraisal.

或進一步修改為:As for the confidential appraisal, we need more details prior to(在…之前)processing your request.

 

  1. 5. Let me repeat again, at this moment in time, it is the customary practice of this company to place an emphasis on the value of being respectful.
  • - Repeat 已有「再次」的意思,因此不需再加 again。
  • - At this moment in time 及 customary(慣常的) 可以刪減。
  • - To place an emphasis on 可用一個動詞 emphasize(強調)代替。

可改為:Let me repeat that it is the practice of our company to emphasize the value of being respectful.

 

  1. 6. The table which follows is intended to present highlights of some key points contained in the report.
  • - The table which follows 即是 the following table。
  • - Is intended to present highlights 可用動詞 highlights 代替。
  • - Contained in 可用介詞 from取代。

可改為: The following table highlights / contains some key points from the report.